How could one make R+L as a ship tonally closer to GRRM's intent?

I'm working on a fic based off of a drabble that I posted. It's sort of KOTSK inspired, Jon squires with Ser Arthur Dayne in an AU where there was less bloodshed at the Tower of Joy. The divergence is that he was born sooner, has different features (aggressively purple eyes), so they talk it out, Lyanna succumbs to sickness, Jon lives at Starfall, blah blah blah - this is all spark notes for the actual point of the post.

It's obvious that GRRM wants Rhaegar and Lyanna's relationship to be a pseudo-Romeo-and-Juliet situation, a tragic romance. If you consider the show's ending to be similar to GRRM's in broad strokes, and just missing key characters (fAegon) and sucking shit as a result, then we could even say that we know the truth. However, ignoring the show for a moment, Rhaegar and Lyanna as individuals are romanticised beyond belief, the glimpses we get are super artsy and flowery and poetic, and "love" this, "saving the world" that...

But it falls apart in execution.

For starters, Rhaegar as the "perfect prince" gets him a lot more scrutiny from the fandom. So when characters like Jon Arryn or even Khal Drogo get much less pushback for their obscene age gaps and horrific relationships (the amount of Drogo romanticisation that I see is insane, and nobody even talks about how Jon Arryn was old enough to be Lysa's father), Rhaegar does not get that.

He was a 24 year old married father of two, who met a girl at 14, ran away and [allegedly] eloped with her at 15, and the girl died in childbirth at 16.

Lyanna herself seems a hypocrite for her loathing of Robert for his [entirely predictable] infidelity, but then absconds with a married man in an unfaithful affair. Lyanna was also a child by modern world standards (ASIOAF-world has different rules), so we have to consider the fact that this was emotionally driven and definitely not well thought out. Rhaegar was basically ASOIAF's pop star (insanely hot, super artistic, musical, everbody wants him), and his consistently emphasised charisma makes him now seem silver-tongued more than silver-haired.

Lyanna's hypocrisy takes a backseat, though is still present, in the face of Rhaegar's grooming here. Lyanna also knows about Brandon and Rickard's deaths when she passes, as she asks to be buried with them, so the fact that she stayed at all is insane considering that Rhaegar left. The implication here is that she was... well, George obviously wants it to be her staying and lamenting her love in her tower with all her winter roses, but the implication he's created is that she was held captive.

Like, George wrote the story in such a way that the perception of Rhaegar and Lyanna's in-universe story (that being that Lyanna was kidnapped, held captive, and raped by Rhaegar) makes far more sense than the truth that he wants to reveal. Hell, even Rhaegar's competence falls apart because Rhaegar was missing from the rebel army for months, JonCon had to take care of business in his place because he was just gone! It hardly makes sense for people to consider him the perfect prince after the fact, because-

I'm not saying anything that hasn't already been said in regards to this relationship.

My question is - and I'm really rolling up my sleeves and willing to change shit around here - how could I make this work?

My first thought, obviously, was aging up Lyanna. I wanted to make her Brandon's twin sister. It would make Brandon's wild and poorly thought out rush to King's Landing more emotional, it would make Ned and particularly Benjen's interactions with her take on a different tone (an older sister left behind to take care of things once a mother passes away, a strong female presence in their lives), and it would also drastically shift the feel of the relationship. Lyanna has more agency, more independence, Rhaegar is less of a groomer, etc.

My second thought was having there being weird, green dream/dragon dream shit going on. That they sort of both knew that they had to do this, but found something with each other despite that. It would add a level of tragic "are we just playthings of the gods" angle, and in my head I picture a scene where Lyanna is breaking down in the Tower of Joy after Brandon and Rickard die, cursing the gods, and wondering "If this is to save the world, why is it destroying mine?"

My third thought was to amp up the confusion. The dreams don't show the gender of the child. Rhaegar's belief in the three heads of the dragon falls apart but somehow stays intact at the same time.

My fourth - and funnily enough, the actual first - thought was to amp up the whole Maester conspiracy angle. Obviously this is the fanon trope of "Oh, we sent/left letters!", but still. In my head, Rhaegar dispatched letters concerning the illicit evacuation of Elia, Aegon, and Rhaenys that did not make it to their intended readers. In my head, Lyanna wished to communicate with Ned. I pictured both of them trying to open lines of communication, only for all to remain one-sided, for them to feel isolated and alone.

Thoughts? What works and what doesn't? What ideas would you suggest? I'm all ears. We can change as much or as little as we want, and I'll figure it out later. You can make drastic divergences and I'd be all ears.

(I'll be honest, one of the drastic divergences I was considering was Lyanna, as a twin to Brandon and therefore ~20 years old at the time of death, just straight up being Rhaegar's wife, no Elia [who deserves better], and she and their family die leaving Jon as the sole survivor at the Tower of Joy)