why do people think every slightly feminine guy is gay?

I find it ridiculous how despite how progressive we are as a society there’s still this backwards mentality and restrictiveness when it comes to gender expression especially with men. because women can dress and act as masculine as they want and most people wouldn’t care. but the moment a guy appears even slightly feminine suddenly he’s gay or “zesty”?? this lowkey pisses me off.

I don’t wear dresses, skirts, or anything flamboyant but i am not traditionally masculine and i’m ok with that, my masculinity isn’t fragile and i don’t run away from the color pink and i care about being well-groomed. but even caring about your looks and hygiene is having “gay tendencies“. i remember i got called fruity for having a skincare routine and daring to use a little makeup (nothing too crazy either) among other things. even got called a femboy and that threw me off like no? i’m androgynous at best i just don’t have any hang ups with expressing myself and being well kept. suddenly you‘re an effeminate closeted gay man if you don’t look haggard 24/7. and they always use gay like an insult. i hate to admit it but this lowkey gets under my skin. i’m just glad i have friends and a gf who doesn’t police how i look and behave but wow we gotta do better as a society.

even then, there’s nothing wrong with being overly feminine. why do people treat it like a bad thing to be feminine in the first place?