Feeling unwanted because I’m always initiating 27M 23F

Hi everyone,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 2 months now and overall we’re very happy together. She often tells me how happy she is with me and I really care about her.

She has only been in one relationship before which lasted about two years.

My issue is about intimacy. I always try to respect her boundaries and never push her into anything. I pay close attention to her signals and if she seems less into it, I stop.

The problem is that I’m almost always the one who initiates things. She rarely takes the first step or shows clear sexual interest in me. She also rarely touches me in a sexual way like I can only remember 3 times she touched me.

Often I focus on her pleasure first. Sometimes she can’t have sex (for example due to physical issues) so I only stimulate her. After she’s finished she usually shows that she’s done and then nothing sexual happens for me. We cuddle and kiss which I enjoy but intimacy is basically over at that point.

I don’t want to pressure her at all and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. But lately I’ve started feeling a bit unwanted and insecure because it feels one sided.

I definitely plan to talk to her about this openly and respectfully. Before I do that I’d really like to hear some advice and personal experiences from others who might have been in a similar situation?

Let me know if you need any further information.