i don't know what to do anymore

i've tried blocking, i've tried restricting certain apps and websites (my sick brain is always able to find a way around the restrictions), i've tried cbt and dbt, i've tried antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, i've tried hospitalization, meeting new people, picking up new hobbies, DISTRACTIONS DISTRACTIONS DISTRACTIONS.

NOTHING WORKS AND I CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD. i wake up, i think of him. i eat i think of him. i work, thinking of him. i go to school, still thinking of him. i try to spend time with friends and family, still thinking of him. i go to sleep, he's in my dreams. i try so hard to distract myself but i can't stop thinking of him.

it's been 6 years since i first met him. last time i spoke to him was 4 months ago. i feel physically sick without him. he was everything to me. i just want my LO back in my life. it's like i'm having withdrawals from not having him in my life anymore.