A weird Cuckold!

Ok, so that would sound stupid and made up, but nothing I am going to tell you here is fake/AI.
I am Bi, she is absolutely straight.
we have done threesomes, foursomes, or more, but none that my wife wanna cherish...it was like painful memories to her as she found herself being used. I was just getting exploring but it was even worse for me as I had zero attraction towards the ladies I got close with.
I realised after that that I am a cuckold. For the past 9 years we have a regular third, younger, who is married for like 6 years now.
Somehow things got twisted way past imagination. my wife and bull fell for each other, are in love. My wife cant leave me for our kids n she loves me a lot.

Twist now, after a lot of cheating and efforts n convincing, the bull convinced his Bi-wife(also a cuck) to be a part of it n wants a threesome...he doesn't want her wife to even talk to me ever....n I'm not interested in her wife, but my wife has ick for that girl touching her...but she still wanna do it for the guy. I dont mind it...its healthy. I get what i need. My wife isn't Bi, n is weirded by it. and her wife doesn't know they were physical since ever, so kind of removing the cheating factor of bull and making it more regular n convenient for himself..
On the contrary, it will open doors for me that I am not able to experience yet.
Both of them had a huge fight pursuing it...long story n now they are back
I made peace with it too...

Bigger twist...My wife feels guilty n wants me to do it with a couple in her presence, but she is very possessive n jealous as well, but still insisting on that...I know this will screw things up.
I can tell you I am not interested in 99% of the women

Actual issue: I have now developed myself inclination for being a bull to a couple while being an absolute cuck... I am not convinced to walk this path, but as our bull wouldn't let me play with his dick, which I crave...I kind of want this to happen...
Dont know...too complicated...!
HELP!