Is anyone else chronically low on social totem poles when it comes to groups?

I know some are gonna say friend groups don’t have hierarchies but in my experience they absolutely do. There’s the de facto leaders. Not in an official capacity but they’re the organizers the “hey [group] we’re doing this this weekend” etc. then there’s those like me.

For example. In my current (and every group I’ve ever been in tbh) group multiple times I’ve asked the group “hey do you all want to go to [x y or z] activity?” And crickets. Literal no response. Then someone with more sway will say “let’s do x y or z” thing and suddenly everyone’s on board. I wanted to do an activity recently with my friends and had to use a cooler friend to get others on board. No one responded til I said “oh [cool friend] already rsvp’d” and only then did I get others on board.

This is why I have social anxiety. Because it’s always like this. I’m always the.”awkward third friend” the”hanger on”. (Probably tbh because I’m ugly and I’m not even joking). But it contributes a lot to my anxiety.