Sizing kit vs actual ring?

Someone send help!! I got a sizing kit Sunday, I started testing out a size 9 on my non-dominant index finger. It felt a little tight but I could slide it off by wiggling it or twisting it with some force. When i woke up the next day my finger was swollen but it was fine. Noticed throughout Monday that my finger would get red and feel tight, but it wasn’t bad. Assumed it would eventually get used to the ring and adjust itself. Well, I woke up Tuesday to my finger being VERY red and my veins looked to be bulging some🥲. I only got it off by putting oil on my finger. However, i noticed with any oil, water, lotion, etc the size 9 comes off very easily. I ended up sizing up to the 10, after that. it feels way better but i notice it does twist around my finger, so the “10” will end up on the bottom of my finger occasionally. It also slides off easily when wet. But feels snug when dry.

Has anyone experienced this? Do i get the 9 or 10? Please help. I’m scared the 10 will be too loose long term but also worried the 9 will be too small