Anyone else scared of conflict/upsetting someone?

Some of this is def my CPTSD, but is anyone else deeply conflict averse? I struggle to stand up for myself or tell people no. It’s causing me an interpersonal issue that I’ve yet to solve.

I run/own a relatively small (<100 members) discord server, and everyone is real nice. But. I have this one member who just like, spams links? It won’t be constantly one after another but often throughout the day, and no one engages with them. She also doesn’t like, say anything? Just posts a link and that’s it. And it’s not usually anything relevant to our community interests either.

If I were doing my admin duties the way I should, I’d be deleting them because… it’s just spam. It would be different if she talked about them at all but nope. But I feel AWFUL about it, and I’m too cowardly to remove them. I’ve told her more than once not to do it and she does anyway.

Part of why I feel terrible is because she’s autistic, and even though I’m not I relate to a lot of stuff that autistic folks experience, the way a lot of us do (and who knows, maybe she has AuDHD and would feel rejected). I’m worried I’ll offend her or do something wrong somehow but this has been going on for a long time and I’m sick of it. I don’t even like checking my own community because I know it’s just gonna be her posting links no one cares about (listicles, random “x came out y years ago today!” posts from Xitter (not even about our fandom), low effort articles that I don’t even know if she reads before sharing since she doesn’t say anything?).

I know that the spam links discourage people from actually participating, and it’s not fair to them for the space to be crummy cos of 1 person. I just hate the idea of upsetting people, esp cos I know how much the rejection/being told you’re doing something wrong sucks!

If any of you ladies have advice on how to navigate this stuff, feel free to share it. I’m at a loss and feel like the bad guy no matter what I do, and guilty as hell for it too. Needed to get it off my chest.

Oh and of course my forgetful ass doesn’t even remember to do it when I AM feeling brave enough. I’ll think “okay I’ll just tell her again not to do it and remove these later” and then…