Normal feelings vs. seeking out help

My beautiful Mother passed away Feb 16th. I have had a good support system, my Dad especially so, as we endured her ICU and eventual hospice stay together. I seem to only want to confide in those that have shared a familiar loss. Unfortunately I have close friends who have also lost mothers and fathers. It doesn't bring me personal comfort in sharing my story or hearing their's but I am searching for something in their faces as they talk about their grief that I can't recognize of myself.

I have zero interest in life whatsoever right now. There is a strict divide of when my Mom was alive, and after her death and I am really struggling to come to terms with spending the rest of my life without her nearby. Ending my life is never something I would consider but I cannot shake the fact that I personally, and everything that makes me up is NOT equipped to ever get through this. I am fully engulfing myself in photos of her, videos, voicemails, blankets, anything I can hold. I cannot let go and don't want to move further away from the day she was still in my physical world. It's the acceptance of never again that darkens my days and that won't change so I am not sure how my grief will.