how to get over it

i always knew i was asexual, but i can't let go of the fact that people enjoy sex and i can't. why was i privated to feel intense pleasure? i feel scammed and it's not fair, i want to experience it and it makes me feel depressed. why? i can't get over it. i cry so often about it.

i have sex and i feel nothing, in my private time i feel nothing, i don't get urges, i am never aroused . i'm so mad and jealous of other people. i won't accept this part of me, ever.

do you have a similar experience?