I don’t think it matters angmire

No one noticed I was gone. My own friend didn’t ask where I was. Ans I get it. I upset him reminding him of his past but bro. He ain’t he only who got a past. I respect he wants space. But bro literally forgets I was given the silent treatment when my friends were upset with me. Bro doesn’t know that I’ve been sexually abused in middle school by the guy I like then also back in Nov. bro doesn’t realize silence stirs the pot that I just don’t matter. Is he even gonna talk to me anymore or is he gonna ghost me like my middle school friends did? Is he gonna ghost me like the guy I like did?

I just sometimes wish I had the guts to just off myself cause I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of everything being my fault and constantly losing people I care about cause of my own stupidity. I’m so tired of liking thr guy I like. I wanna do something bad to myself. But I can’t bring my self to. But I feel like I’m on the verge of just doing it. Cause I’m so tired of this. I hate myself. I’m mad at myself. I wanna just be done. I’ve been wanting to do it for. A while now so why not just do it? The only people who will see is my mom when go to Florida. And she’s the worst tht may can find out.

I just am tired of this shit. I wish I Warren so stupid. I hate myself.