I need suggestions for coping with day to day life. I’ve given up on getting better and now I just want to survive

I have persistent MDD, as well as a ton of other diagnosed issues, including BPD and social anxiety. I’ve struggled with my mental health for my entire life, but was only diagnosed with anything last year. I sought out testing and diagnoses because I hoped I’d finally be able to get treatment I desperately needed. Needless to say, it’s made little to no difference in my quality of life. I’m stuck in the same gutter I always have been and am only continuing to decline.

Name it, I’ve tried it. I’m currently on my 3rd or 4th antidepressant and am also taking ADHD meds (I have dual type, severe). Been in and out of therapy since I was 14. Not in it currently because I only work part time, have no insurance/can’t afford it, and have aged out of my parent’s plan. Had psych ward & crisis center stays that only seem to make everything worse. Been to the ER and scolded for wasting nurses & doctors time. Crisis lines that don’t listen and/or call the cops. Endless attempts at meditation, deep breathing, journalling, meal planning, whatever. All of this and everything else I have tried to help myself feel well enough to function and have gotten absolutely nowhere. Whenever I try to talk about this with anybody, healthcare or family or whatever, the issues are deflected and diminished. Or acknowledged very briefly, but with no additional support until it’s once again forgotten.

I don’t know what to do. I know that my mental health is nobody’s responsibility but my own and nobody owes me a solution. However it seems like all my attempts to take care of myself have been unsuccessful. I feel like I desperately need help that nobody is able or willing to provide. I feel like a lost cause and a waste of space. I can’t keep living like this but I also have no other choice. It’s endless frustrating to hear empty platitudes over and over again only to be left isolated when I need it most. My only friend lives thousands of miles away. I have horrific student loan debt. Im terrified to go to the doctor, or seek social supports, because I genuinely cannot trust anybody anymore. I’m suffering and I’m so fucking angry that everyone says they care and they want to help but none of it means anything at all.

Pair all that with the dystopian state of the world and I can’t really muster up any energy to prioritize self care. Most days I don’t eat and spend significant amounts of time in bed. Nothing ever changes, so why would I break my back trying anyways?

Any advice would be great. Would appreciate hearing what others have done in similar situations that have been helpful. I don’t really want a clean cut solution. Just any advice on easing the pain. Small things I can do to make days go by quicker or easier. Thanks for reading