(update)I(23m) found out my gf(21f) slept with her longterm friend(22m) and lied of omission about it. Am I wrong to feel betrayed?
After reading all of these replies, I felt more conflicted than ever. Especially over everyone saying she probably went to her house. I sort of assumed he dropped her off at her place... but then I wasn't so sure.
So I drove by her place with doughnuts this morning. Figure, fuck it, either she screwed him and I can use them as consolation or they are a peace offering to our fucked up relationship.
I get there and I see Chris' car. Leave doughnuts in the car, ring doorbell a million fucking times. She answers and looks unhappy to see me. "Darren, I need some space to think".
"I know Chris is here. I saw his car." Fuck thinking over that. She tells me she drove Chris home because he was too drunk to drive and was going to bring him his car today- he's not here. She expands her arms around her efficiency apartment and looks at me mockingly.
Well...okay. Let's just talk this through then. I have doughnuts in the car. I explain why I reacted the way I did...she says she was embarrassed and I made her more so. I point out that Chris is the one who brought it up, the one who got in the middle of our discussion and tried to fight me.
She says Chris has no shame and sometimes forget anyone else does. That it never occurred to him it might be a secret. Then she claims that Chris heard me screaming and saw me getting in her face and reacted instinctively to protect her "that's what he does". She claims I took the first swing, which is not true.
I point that out. Remind her I'm not an alcoholic foster dad but a good boyfriend who treats her well.
Reasserts that she just wants to be alone to think. "I don't know if I can handle being with someone with your temper..the way you screamed at me and grabbed my arm. It wasn't abusive, but I can't be around that kind of thing. It isn't what I need in a relationship."
So I leave and now I'm home trying to figure out what the fuck is up with my life and my girlfriend. I feel like she turned this all around on me and is never going to own the omission or treat Chris as less than a saint.
tl;dr (update)I(23m) found out my gf(21f) slept with her longterm friend(22m) and lied of omission about it.I went over to her place this morning to talk..she claims that I was being aggressive with her and Chris was "protecting her". She doesn't know if she can be in a relationship with someone who yells when they get mad at her... where am I with all this now?
Posted Nov 27, 2013, 5:36 PM UTC