AITA for not wanting to keep helping my MIL after everything she’s put us through?

I (F) and my husband (M) have a very strained relationship with his mother, and honestly I’m reaching the end of my patience.

Some background: my husband doesn’t have a good relationship with her, but he still tries because she’s alone now (her second husband recently died). When my husband was a teenager, his dad died suddenly and just a few weeks later she ran off with another guy and basically left him homeless. Years later, when he was living with her and her second husband while we were trying to save for a house after leaving the military, he discovered that the second husband was abusing her. My husband confronted him and stood up for her, which resulted in him getting kicked out again and becoming homeless for the second time. That whole situation set our plans to buy a house back almost two years.

Fast forward a bit: the second husband dies and my husband decides to try to have a relationship with his mom again because she’s alone. Since then we’ve been expected to visit her every second weekend. It’s a two-hour round trip and every visit is the same conversation: everything is about her, her late husband, or his “perfect” family (for the record, he was literally a convicted murderer who spent 20 years in prison and was in a gang). She constantly complains that we bought our house “too far away” from her, asks repeatedly why we don’t want kids, and complains that as a veteran family we get “so many benefits” while she gets none. It’s just constant doom and gloom and self-pity.

Then Thanksgiving happened. She showed up to dinner with bags planning to stay overnight (she was invited to dinner only) and brought her completely untrained puppy. The dog peed everywhere, antagonized my husband’s service dog (a very calm German Shepherd), fell into the hole for the pool we were building, and somehow got into my husband’s marijuana stash and got high. After all that chaos she had the nerve to tell us that our house “wasn’t safe for her dog.”

She ended up staying two days. After that we told her we needed a break.

At the start of the new year we resumed visits, and then she told my husband she would only give him the truck and car that were left to him by another deceased family member if he helped her fix up her house.

So this past weekend we started the project, which basically means cleaning out two dead husbands’ worth of belongings plus years of hoarded stuff. We called days beforehand to arrange it. The morning of, I texted to say we were on our way and she called asking why. I reminded her of the plan and she said she forgot but to just let ourselves in and start.

We get there and her puppy is locked in a crate howling. She isn’t even home. We’re expected to start clearing out her house without her there to decide what stays or goes. When she finally gets home she lets the dog run around the shed we’re cleaning and within minutes it’s set off rat traps and knocked over a mirror.

Now we’ve found out she’s been going through the trailer of stuff we already loaded for the dump because she suddenly thinks everything is “worth money” and wants to sell it.

Apparently we have another 3–4 weekends of this ahead of us.

At this point I’m exhausted and frustrated and honestly don’t want to keep helping her. My husband feels obligated because she’s his mom and because of the vehicle situation.

So… AITA for wanting to stop helping her and distance ourselves?