quarterlife crisis rant while quitting

I've been trying to quit for a while now but honestly im just in such a stressful situation and my mental health is so bad right now that everytime I stop I feel like its not even worth it. For context I dont smoke that much ive been taking like ~ a 5mg edible almost everyday for the past 5 years, I know its bad for you so im trying to stop but I've been unemployed for overr a year despite constantly trying, hyper independent but living at home, and just got broken up with. I'm 26 I feel like shit, my life is a mess and every second I'm not high I feel so anxious and embarrassed about where I'm at in life rn. I'm either frozen and watching tv to try to avoid having bad thoughts or I'm bawling my eyes out. And yes I have tried journalling, I have tried talking to people, I work out regularly but no matter what I do life is just not working out for me right now.

My friend did a tarot card reading for me this year and I got the devil and hanged man which is honeslty so accurate for me right now, but I really just want to move on from this phase of life. I don't know what im supposed to do, atleast when im high i can sit down and calmly try to do some work and be optimistic about my future. Ugh sorry idk what this post is even about anymore I think im just losing my mind