Genuinely Ill never be happy again

There is something so wrong with me and I don't know what exactly it is, Im very selfish, I talk too much about others people's business, even if not on purposeful, im oversensitive and cant give over things

around three-four weeks ago I lost multiple friends including two of whom I considered my best friend. But Im really sad that I lost of my friend Jeffrey, I don't talk to him in person but I have messaged him, and he told me he has already gotten over it, over me not being his friend anymore but it hurts so much and I dont feel that way, I think about it all the time. It's my fault, I said this even in our friendship I relied too much on him for emotional support and I was vunerable with him in a way that I was not and still havent been with anyone else

Its impossible for me to move on and my friends continue to keep being hurt by other people

I despite want Jeffrey to be my friend again so badly. I used to think I had a crush on him, and there is something wrong with me because I don't think I really loved him or anyone romantically, I think I was just confused, I think im so stupid and I find it so hard to understand stuff like that I clearly wasn't meant to be apart of society because I fuck every single interaction up,

i just want him to be my friend again so badly but Ik he wont I want to die so much even when I have a good day I still cry everyday why is this always happening i genuinely cant do it anymore i hate my lfe son much