Will I Ever Have Freedom?

I just felt like getting my thoughts out. I thought at 18 I would finally have the freedom to express myself the way I want. But I was very wrong in this assumption. I feel like I'm living as a person that is not me. And my mom specifically is forcing that onto me. I can not financially support myself because nobody will hire me despite me filling out possibly a hundred job applications not just on Indeed but at the place of work's websites themselves. My parents have already decided what college degree I should do, which I do not want to do. But I can not pay for my college and I do not want to take out a loan and then suffer under the weight of debt. Life just really sucks right now and I don't have people to talk about it with me. And I don't know how many more years I will live like this. Like, until my 20s...I have no idea.