Nervous about messing things up before they’ve even begun!

I met this girl, let’s call her Jennifer, through mutual close friends. She’s 28, I’m 29. We had met a few times casually but a little over a month ago we got to chat more at an event that we were both at with friends. I hadn’t sensed a connection before that, but that night we had great conversation and were lightly flirting (making eye contact, making each other laugh). We exchanged numbers (she asked for mine). Then a had a super busy month with work and some friend drama, but I kept thinking about her.

I told my friend, who let's call Alex, who is the connection to Jennifer (basically Jennifer is one of Alex's best friends’ best friends) about my little crush, and Alex and a couple of our mutual friends started talking about setting us up but nothing happened, except Alex kept saying they think we’d be good together and encouraging the connection.

Last weekend I (with the encouragement of Alex) texted Jennifer and asked her out. I was super nervous but it went well and she said yes, and we made plans to meet for a drink for this coming weekend. All good so far.

But THEN the very next night, I went out with some friends to a nightclub and Jennifer was there! I am quite good socially and not a bad flirt, but a nightclub is totally not my space for that — I like to dance and have fun with friends but I am very far from a good dancer and even at the best of times am awkward dancing with anyone. I got so nervous! Jennifer and I said hi, and throughout the course of the night we made eye contact a couple times, but we didn't dance together and I didn't approach her at all. When she and her friends were leaving and saying goodbye to our group, I gave her a hug, apologized if I was weird, and said I was looking forward to hanging out. She said she was too.

I've been single for two years after a bad breakup and have done a ton of work on myself and invested in my friendships. I'm shocked at how nervous this girl is making me!! I keep worrying she is going to cancel the date or that she already got the ick because I kind of didn't know how to act at the club.

Any advice?

Posted Mar 5, 2026, 2:30 AM UTC

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