PAINFUL, HEART WRENCHING AND UNBEARABLE

So, just a week ago I saw a person's post in a sub and felt pulled to message them instantly as some nuances of their post were so articulate and accurate with me. I usually never start a chat unless and until I need help about a certain topic but talking to that person gave me too many Deja vus that it became difficult to stop asking them.

Since, he was from my country and coincidentally from my mother's hometown.

We talked about their culture, astrology, Almighty, life, their story, my story etc etc.

He was flirting as well but I didn't pay any heed as I strictly ignore but here I couldn't resist and I too started flirting and just wanting to know more and more about him.

A familiarity feeling was there from day 1 and still there.

Fought on the 1st day itself and the next day he apologized and from then on we continued chatting everyday. Mostly, I initiated, anyways they warned me that I was getting attached and it's not good as "Reddit is a strangers territory".

I shared my Instagram account as well, as he was saying that he'll delete this account as our conversation isn't going in the right direction, our talks are not at all like friends. I said something wrong just after that and we fought, the next day he said that just let it go don't beat yourself up and it's okay.

He didn't share any contact details, I know it was not a relationship but attachment, but from my side I think I feel for him, first time for someone and to the extent that I'm confessing here, I wish he reads this and reaches out to me again but I know the chances are slim.

It felt as if I met my soulmate. He had warned me once that he'll delete the account but didn't but yesterday he deleted it and told me goodbye. I had told him if u ever delete, do share some contact details but he didn't.

He made me feel very special and changed me in a way that I couldn't have thought of, but severing all ties, this was unjust and unfair and so cruel. I don't even have any way of reaching out to him.

It feels as if I had wings to fly and soared high, higher than i could have ever imagined and now my wings are severed and I have fallen down and I'm in physical pain and emotional pain as well.

I am staying alone right now and my close friend is not in city, can't share this with family. It's painful to go out as I'm breaking down and zoning out again and again, also I'm currently studying online. Neither I'm able to eat nor sleep.

So, this is what heartbreak is.

I never thought I'll face this situation ever in my life, but look at me now.

I used to make fun of people with heartbreak and think that they are over exaggerating but it is painful than any physical pain.

UNBEARABLE, PAINFUL AND HEART-PIERCING PAIN.

I wish he does well in life and becomes what he wants himself to be and comes out of the problems that he is facing.

Thank you for reading

(If u have read this please don't cut off ties at least, even I'm facing what u just went through maybe less than u but the pain is unbearable, this time I'm for real missing you and a lot. My prayers are not working.)