Any advice for me?

I'm currently very detached from this religion and I don't have anyone to speak to around me as everyone in my area is practically the same in terms of these beliefs I've grown disgusted with. The past 2-3 years I've began questioning things and whenever I did I always got intense backlash by my parents and I never felt like I belong. Now that I am absolutely tired of this faith I can't even stomach the fact that I have to deal with this for 2 more years before I can finally move out. Having to wake up in the buttcrack of morning just to do a a few up and downs to not go to hell or to starve myself for 30 days just to be seen as normal in this society isn't so normal to me.. I also am very tired of the views others depict of me when I even remotely show signs of being non religious/agnostic. My mom constantly shoves this ideology down my throat and even said it, I can disbelieve but I still have to act like I'm praying and being "faithful" infront of her so that she doesn't bear the religious consequences of me being non religious. I really need anyone to talk to as I feel very alone all the time and don't have anyone to relate to. Thank you. 🙏🏻