I wish I had more happy memories

I feel like I only really have three "main" kins, those being Post-It Note, Chainsaw, and Platinum, the former two being IDs and Platinum being the only other kin I'd say is high, the others all being medium or low, and I don't pay attention to them nearly as much.

I rarely ever get kin memories. As all my high kins and IDs combined, I have a total of like three memories. One as Post-It Note, two as Platinum. I don't even have any memories as Chainsaw yet. And none of my memories are very happy.

As Post-It Note, my only memory is Journal dying right in front of me, sacrificing himself to stop Mr. Hand. (I had to multitask just to write that without crying, it's hard for me to think about). It was a foggy memory at first but the more I thought about it because it was too hard to stop thinking about, the clearer it became, I really wish it didn't... I should move on before this gets too venty.

And as Platinum, I have just a general memory of working for Mr. Hand, and there's the one I posted about last night of having remembered killing Bronze, who is also my cousin. Since posting about that I also remembered that I tried to kill Gold Ingot as well but for whatever reason Mr. Hand wanted me to keep him alive, and I don't remember if I killed Silver or not.

So yeah. Definitely not the best memories I could have.

I honestly wish I got memories more often, I just want to be able to remember my canon more. But most of all, I want happier memories. I see people ask "What's your favorite memory" on the sub a lot, I don't have one. I don't like any of my memories, they're all just... really sad. I wish I could remember a happy moment with Journal as Post-It Note, or some of my chaotic antics with Team Bracket as Chainsaw, or hell even a friendly moment with my cousins as Platinum even if I hate them. I'd honestly take a memory from back when I was on Team 47 as Chainsaw, even if I never liked the team. I just wish I had memories that weren't... like the ones I have.