I feel like I have to be a perfect parent because I adopted

I am afraid she's going to hate me someday for participating in the domestic private adoption system. I'm afraid she's going to hate her birth mom, too. I want her to be happy in life and love herself and feel proud of where she came from and know that she is so loved by so many people. I hope that is how she feels about her adoption. I hope she doesn't come across harmful ideas about adoption that turn her against us.

I've accepted that she might hate me someday. I'll never be a perfect parent. God do I try though. I lose sleep at night over every single decision I've made and will make. I know I'll screw some things up. I'm sure I will. I'm terrified of those days, or that those days have already happened.

There are people out there reading this who probably hate me now that they know I'm adoptive parent. There are adoptive parents who will probably hate me for admitting these feelings.

I love my daughter though. I'd jump in front of a train for her. I love her birthmom and her whole family, too. I wish for love to be enough because I can't make myself or the world perfect.