I miss him so much

I miss my ex situationship. We’ve been on and off and he has come back several times but each time he still didn’t treat me the way I want to be treated. I know he’s not right for me and he’s not a good guy but this time I feel like he’s actually done with me and he will never come back now. It’s been two months and I don’t think he’s coming back this time. I know that even if he did come back I would still be sad and upset because he’d disappoint me again and again. But I just miss the fun and excitement. Life just feels so boring when I’m not obsessing over a guy. Like I don’t even want to get over him because that means it’s done and I just miss the excitement. Idk maybe it’s cause I’m a useless unemployed loser so having a guy that treats me like shit is the most exciting thing that would be going on in my life. Idk idc though I just want him back. I just wish he would act right. I just wish he liked me enough to change