I work better when I drink.

This is super typical but I function best when I drink.

I rarely drink at all anymore, I am (23m), and I barely drink or anything. Growing up from 12-20, I smoked weed pretty regularly which definitely had an effect on me long-term. I drank as well. But since getting into a somewhat stable long-term relationship with a child involved, I never drink, smoke weed, or do nicotine (18+ months).

But, since the girl and the baby are out of town, I had some dada slacking off time and bought some Titos and Marlboro Reds to take the edge off after so long. Normally, I am very, very, very forgetful so I have to he very tedious and mindful literally 24/7 with exceptions of me not being immersed enough to notice. It makes me anxious to look for better jobs and everything.

I have noticed, though. Tonight while drinking and letting lose, I function really well mentally while drunk. I remember way more and am way more mindful (so I think) than usual. It is frustrating because I know that this is very superficial stuff. I am a pretty smart guy but none of it is available unless I am on stuff.

That's my rant, I gotta pee real bad and typing this out isn't helping. God bless and best wishes to all☦️🕯