My mom just called me to say she's 'grieving' the daughter she thought she had. I'm 29 and moved out 6 years ago.

I don't even know where to start.

I (29F) moved out at 23. It wasn't dramatic — I just got a job in another city, found an apartment, and left. Normal adult thing. My mom (58) has never fully accepted this as a thing that was allowed to happen.

Today she called me, voice all shaky, and said "I've been in therapy and my therapist helped me realized I need to grieve the daughter I thought I had."

I asked what that meant.

She said she thought I would be "the type of daughter who stays close." That I would call every day, visit every Sunday, build my life around her the way she did around her mother.

I told her I call twice a week. I visit every 6-8 weeks. I remember her birthday.

She said "it's not the same energy."

THE ENERGY.

I sat there on the phone just… quiet. Because what do you even say to that? She's in therapy framing MY normal adult independence as a LOSS SHE HAS TO MOURN.

When I didn't respond with sympathy she said I was "proving her point."

I got off the call and just stared at my ceiling for like 20 minutes. Anyone else's parent do this reframing thing where they're always the victim of you just…existing?