Wanted to vent my felling about my day

So a weird incident happened to me today . For context I am a 3rd year b tech student and this sem our sections were shuffled. my friend group was mostly in one section but me and one more friend were placed in other section

So my one friend was absent today and as I was sitting in class with a person I know through my friends he was trying to talk to me and i realised that i was giving dry replies i wanted to be alone rather then talk to him.

It was a weird felling not wanting to talk to someone other then people i know. Even though I am not a dry sad person it's just it feels difficult for me to make new friends.

The cause of this what I think it is during child I was a crybaby and my classmates used to.laugh at me crying once i was in 10 class a relative of me told me that i was too old to cry and it hit me from that moment onwards I have never cried .

So I don't open up to people like i remember one incident I was sharing something with my friend as soon as the conversation got deep I felt my throat aching

Has this childhood shame made me supresed my ability to express?