AITA for resenting my boyfriend and wanting to break up because he’s demanding debt repayment while I’m unemployed, after I spent months starving to pay him?
I (24F, Literature student) and my boyfriend (26M, MCA) have been together for two years. Our relationship has been long-distance for a long time, and the way we handled it has led to a massive financial and emotional rift. Because he lives off a significant inheritance from his late mother and I rely on my parents, there was always a gap in our spending power. Despite this, whenever we met once a month, he would plan elaborate, expensive trips that I couldn't afford. He would pay upfront, and I’d agree to pay him back in monthly installments of ₹5k ($60).
By last February, I was ₹1 lakh ($1,200) in debt to him. I was able to pay that off with a one-time insurance payout from my late grandfather, but the cycle immediately started again. Over the last year, I’ve been paying him that ₹5k ($60) every single month, but it came at a massive personal cost. To make those payments, I was using 100% of the allowance my father sent me for food and daily expenses. For months, I was essentially starving myself just to pay for past vacations he insisted on, all while he knew exactly how little money I had.
The situation has reached a breaking point now that I’ve moved back in with my parents. Since I’m home, I’m finally eating properly again, but my father has stopped my allowance. I was also recently laid off from my internship, so I have absolutely zero income and owe my boyfriend ₹60k ($720). When I told him today that I literally have no way to pay him right now, he was completely cold. He told me, "I don’t care, I need the money. Just come clean to your father and ask him for it."
He knows that "coming clean" means I have to beg my father for money to pay for travel debt I hid from him, potentially ruining my relationship with my parents. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is in a much better position—he passed the professor’s eligibility exam (UGC NET) this year, but he refuses to look for a job because he doesn't want to be "underpaid." He sits on his inheritance and complains about being unemployed, while I’ve been desperately job hunting for three months with no luck. He does suffer from severe depression (I think) but refuses to see a therapist because therapy doesn't work for him, and just complains about how depressed he is and how it hampers his ability to look for a job. I literally spend hours on LinkedIn and other websites job hunting, sitting for interviews in vain, and when I ask him to do the same he would cite me as an example to say the job market is bad and apparently he is too bad at his subject to get a job (but won't even try?)
I want to stop the desperate job search for a few months so I can actually study for my own exams and start my career as a professor, but the constant "debt collector" pressure from him makes it impossible to focus. He has zero empathy for the fact that I spent months hungry just to satisfy his demands. I feel like he doesn’t care about me at all, only about the money he’s owed. I’m planning to break up, tell my dad everything, and pay the debt back on my own terms without his breath down my neck.
AITA for feeling such deep resentment and wanting to end this?
Posted Mar 5, 2026, 11:31 AM UTC