WIBTAH for riding the wave

I don’t know where to start but I need to vent… all fake names and fake ages… I need advice from strangers sadly….

Ok here it goes…. I (F35) and with my partner who is (M35)… he has been great… I thought I didn’t have anything to worry about with him… I love this man so much … I let him know about my traumas from the beginning… let him know my fears of going into a new relationship…. I gave birth to our baby 4 months ago…. I recently discovered he would meet up with some particular person for blow jobs… (paid) …. Ridiculous af right? Hahahah idk I feel like it’s a dream… so sad. I’m dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety… I’m on medication for it and in therapy… I don’t know what to do or feel. In therapy past the person I dealt with was a narcissist and did things behind my back… it was so obvious nowwwww it’s so different and difficult to understand… he treats me like I’m his priority always cares about my needs and has been my backbone throughout pregnancy and PPD…. I don’t understand why… why would he do this? With a hooker while I was pregnant…. Paid…. I wish this was a nightmare but it’s not. I’m on maternity leave so it’s not something I can act on now…. I have to stoop to his level and be fake just like him. Idk what to do. Idk what to think… idk what to feel. I know I’m heartbroken because I thought he was the one. Jokes on me… do all men just cheat???