Separating from toxic family

This is me processing my emotions. I am so tired of hearing "family is everything" when family is the unsafest place for me. I started separating from my family last year towards the end and it wasn't taken lightly. They started saying how I am dramatic and crazy but you know in African families that is code for "why can't you play by our rules". During this period I am seeing them for who they are. It has gotten to a point I rather conserve my energy than try to explain myself when someone asks "why aren't you talking to your family?" I feel as though no one understands. I am the only one who understands, of course and one friend of mine who went no contact with her family. It's worse because to the public everyone thinks our family is perfect. Right from my parents to my two older siblings. It's as though I am being punished for not wanting to play along to the pretense. I know I will get out on the other side stronger but I just want to say this is hard. Not because I feel guilty for wanting to leave my family because they are unhealthy for me, but because I cannot believe they cannot see how dysfunctional they are. It's harder because we live in the same house still but I am planning to move out soon and I know I will. Let no one ever tell you family is hard just make it work. These people can easily make you want to end your life. Especially when they scapegoat you simply because they cannot face themselves.