Been addicted since elementary

Started in elementary school me and my brother shared rooms he was older then I was so he had a phone, I remember having a conversation then it goes to him showing me how to look up porn we never even clicked on a video but I definitely saw the title picture to the videos. I don’t remember how the conversation got there just two young dumb brothers he never ever did anything weird or touched me like that we had a classic brother relationship you could say but When I got a phone began heavily addicted for some reason I pretty much watched porn all through middle school all types of porn(including gay porn) I don’t know why. I can honestly say to my self I am not attracted to guys and any sort of way this might sound weird but I’ll look at guys and try to see if I’m attracted to them and nothing ever happens no feeling no thoughts never wanted to have sex. I have had sex with multiple women and enjoy sex with women I can proudly say to myself I like vagina . But when it came to porn I didn’t discriminate I stopped a little bit when I got into high-school then I got a girlfriend and my addiction just kicked up again it made no sense I just think it’s a cope for my anxiety or depression but I just really hate my self for it and I have hated myself for a while I’m determined to quit and this page has helped I wanna be a better person and learn to love myself( sorry for bad grammar Reddit is being weird)