I’m a night-shift professional with a "settled" life, so why does digital isolation hurt this much?

I just need to get this off my chest because it’s starting to feel like I’m haunting my own life.

I’m not "lost." I have a career I’ve worked hard for, a great partner who I love deeply, and a house full of the usual "adult stuff" that keeps me busy. On paper, I’m settled. But because I work from home on the night shift, Discord has always been my "third space"—my pub, my water cooler, my connection to the outside world while the rest of my timezone sleeps.

Lately, that space has become a graveyard.

I see my "friends" online. I see them hanging out in the mornings when I’m still awake, or jumping into voice channels without a word to me. Every time I reach out to ask if anyone wants to hang, I get a "later" that never happens, or worse—just total silence. It’s like I’m screaming into a void that used to scream back.

I’m at an age where my IRL friends are moving away and settling down. I’m doing the same! But I’ve held onto gaming—Overwatch, Path of Exile, Diablo—as my last sliver of personal freedom. It’s how I unwind from the grind. But recently, I feel so goddamn alone in it.

Am I being childish? Is it selfish to just want to be wanted for my company? I don’t need much—just someone to sit in a voice channel with, talk about Warhammer lore or bass gear, and feel like I’m not just a ghost in the machine.

It’s a weird paradox: I’m a professional, a musician, a partner, and a parent—I’m "busy with adult stuff" just like everyone else—yet I’m sitting here in a silent Discord room watching the green "active" lights of people who won't talk to me. It’s starting to break me.

I’m still here. I’m still gaming. I’m just tired of doing it in total silence while the world moves on without me.