hella embarassing drunk encouter w the guy im talking to

Alright so preface, I am young, he is young also english is not my first language so please bare with me.

So this may be a stupid situation considering we both are young and its not that big of an issue but it just seems like one to me.

I have been talking to this guy since December, we ended up spending new years eve together and hang out quite frequently since (like once a week, maximum time we havent met is 20 days) but anyways so we both have admitted to each other that we have feelings for each other and i guess hes just waiting for a good time to ask me out.

So heres the main issue, I am pretty dismissive of my emotions and push people away easily, i am working on this in therapy but it stems from a lot of childhood trauma, (losing my mom at a young age, growing up in a not so stable home, confusing dynamic with my dad) and horrible past experiences w guys (ghosting, >!SA!<, regular teenage relationship nonsense) all my life ive been letting go of people or concepts that i love. Ever since the start of talking this guy i have had episodes of wanting to push him away, but ive continued to talk to him no matter how i feel because i like him and im really scared of hurting him.

Now we do have a bit of an age gap (2 years) and he was a little concerned of what his friends would think so that was a main factor of him not asking me out also, my cousin is his best friend so i get to know some of what he says but after yesterday i think he is going to ask me out now because all his friends kindoff were chill w us and have decided to not tell him anything even if they dont support because they know he likes me.

Yesterday we were at a party and i got very drunk, i dont think ive been this drunk before. I blacked out but from what i recall, we both ended up on a bench together and i ended up getting very candid with him and told him im terrified of losing him, he comforted me, i do not know what i said but i know i did cry a little. he kissed my forehead and told me he isnt going anywhere. This was before his sister got drunk worse than me (i am pretty good at taking care of myself when im drunk and i ended up taking care of her a little too) his sister lost his phone and around this time is when i blacked out and was with my best friend. while him and his sister were fighting i ended up getting very clingy with him, like wanting to hold his hand and shit. i dont remember any of this but im so embarassed.

He hasnt brought it up and we texted after i was sober and at home and he stayed nice and our conversations stayed the same how they always do, but i am so embarassed. Being vulnerble with him like that was one of the most terrifying things ever and now i have done it and i feel like hiding in a shell. i sitll do really like him and am talking to him but i feel like i may be insanely overthinking all this. my question is what do i do? i really like him but the conversation from yesterday still lingers till he asks me out, do i talk to him about it, i know i shouldnt ghost him but and i dont intend to let that part of me get the better of this relationship, or do i just ignore it all and see how the energy is in the relationship.