England Burns review by The NME (LEAKED)

James Hargreaves - ‘England Burns’ review: Rock icon turns flaccid!

Johnny Smith from the NME

It was only 4 years ago when rock icon James Hargreaves released his iconic debut album ‘Onwards and Upwards’ an album that defined a generation of middle aged sops and destroyed the woke generation with its vibrant masculinity and virtually inn-escapable crash into the abyss.

England Burns descends further into the potholes of emasculation and falls flat and every turn from the big 45 to the ruskin. It’s lead single “Brown Wicker Man” destroys more lines than Charlie Sheen and much like Sheen it suffers from the musical equivalent of HIV.

“Saint George (The Great Crusader)” will ruin any notion you had that James was a former history teacher despite his appearance as he paints Saint George as great Englishman who died to protect England from boats made of literal bananas. Further discussion of this track would be an insult to your intelligence.

“Pepto Bismol up My Arse” is the deepest of the songs that paints a picture that isn’t anymore pleasant than an orgy with a blobfis.

I actually stopped listening after track 3 and I’d recommend burning England Burns along with the rest of your calendar year if you do bother listening to it.