I feel so embarrassed when I go to buy alcohol.

It literally takes me days to get enough courage to go to like 5 separate shops to buy 5 individual bottles because I feel so ashamed of buying them all at once, by myself. And the fear of getting IDed, even though I know I don’t look underage to most people (I am underage). And the fear of the cashier knowing my parents.

Does this feeling ever go away? Drinking is my only happy place :(