my roo

Title: my roommate isn’t straight and neither am i (apparently)

So. I moved into this stupidly cheap apartment because the rent was basically criminally low. The catch? Random roommate.

When I opened the door the first day, bro was standing in the kitchen in grey sweatpants making coffee like he walked straight out of a Pinterest board. Tall, messy black hair, those sleepy eyes that make it look like he just woke up every second of his life.

He looked at me, looked at my boxes, then said:

“you the new roommate?”

Deep voice too. Like… unnecessarily deep. My brain immediately went oh yeah this is gonna be a problem 🫩

Anyway. We lived together for like two months acting normal. Watching movies sometimes, cooking, that kinda chill roommate stuff. Except he had this annoying habit of standing way too close.

Like bro would lean over my shoulder to look at my phone.

One night we were on the couch watching some random horror movie. Lights off, rain outside, peak cinematic moment.

A jumpscare happens and I flinch. Not crazy but a little.

And this man—this absolute menace—laughs and goes:

“relax, I got you.”

Then he puts his arm around the back of the couch behind me.

Not touching me.

Just… there.

Which somehow felt worse.

I swear the entire room suddenly felt 10 degrees hotter 🥹

I tried to act normal like yeah whatever totally cool haha. Meanwhile my brain is doing Olympic level overthinking.

After the movie ends we’re just sitting there in silence. Rain still hitting the windows.

Then he goes:

“you’re blushing.”

I immediately say “no I’m not.”

He leans closer. Way closer.

“you definitely are.”

At this point his face is like… right there. Close enough I can feel his breath and my brain just stops functioning.

So naturally I say the dumbest possible thing.

“maybe it’s hot in here.”

He just stares at me for a second. Then smirks.

“yeah,” he says quietly. “that might be my fault.”

And bro I’m not proud of what happened next but also I’m not NOT proud.

Because apparently when your hot roommate looks at you like that, your self control just logs out of existence 💔

So yeah.

Now we still live together.

Rent is still cheap.

But the tension in this apartment??

absolutely illegal 😔🥀