Grieving the Timeline You Abandoned

I'm not just grieving a relationship or even just your presence. I'm grieving vacations we said we would take, birthday plans we said we'd make. I'm grieving holidays that never came and promises of forever you made.

I'm grieving moments I thought you'd be a part of. Sporting events for the boys, school plays and graduations. Date nights and late night chats. I'm grieving hearing "I love you" before bed and the feeling of your arms around me.

I'm grieving laughter and inside jokes and moments only we know. I'm grieving the wedding you asked me if I'd like to have someday.. And the happy family you knew we'd be.

I'm grieving the chance to take care of you when you're down and out and you catching me when I fall. I'm grieving getting through challenges and caring for each other through hard times. I'm grieving boring nights at home, everyday mundane moments, and fun family outings. I'm grieving my best friend and being able to call you when I'm sad... Or excited... Or just because.

I'm literally grieving an entire future you built up and then tore away from me like those words meant nothing. I'm grieving who I was when I was with you... I'm grieving who I was going to be with you always by my side.

I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to function. Every moment hurts and life feels meaningless.

I'm grieving my world that existed with you in it. A timeline that you abandoned.. And I don't know if I can recover from this loss.