Conan on Celebrity Worship (Cirque 2017)

Dear, Internet

It’s come to my attention that a certain controversy has come about concerning celebrities and celebrity WORSHIP.

And I invite you to- STOP! Celebrities are people just like you and I. This includes the A-lists, the B-lists, and even the C-lists.

However, I am a D-list celebrity, and such rules do not apply to me, so I invite all of you to continue with your worship- and to not let the anger of the internet scare you away from any tribute or prayer you would’ve hurled my way otherwise.

Some of you might very well ask yourselves, "Oh, Magnificent Conan, how thou you not Ze A-List?’’ and my rebuttal is, "How the hell should I know?! I’ve done what it takes! I’ve sacrificed the souls of my predecessors! WHERE’S MY OSCAR?’’ 

But I digress. Not being an A-list has its perks, like being worshipped by the people. If I were an A-list, I wouldn't have such upsides.

I remember there being more but this is all i could find. it's funny!