Relapse

yesterday for the first time in over two years i took some xanax, i was a pretty heavy user for a while and stopped due to flipping my life around. Recently something big in my life happened that made everything flip back around, it took me months to finally find it and i was scared to take it at first.

I ended up taking 3mg and i didn’t really get to feel it because i went straight to sleep. I have more and want to do it again because i know i wont be able to find it again. but im scared i might get hooked again and it might get easier to find.

any thoughts or help on what i should do