Advice needed - Retrying chastity with slightly reluctant wife

Hey folks, married male, 40s here. my wife and I have a solid, loving relationship. I’ve been into chastity for years, and we actually gave it a shot once last year for like a week or two. The cheap knockoff cage I bought gave me a rash though, so I took it off and she never brought it up again.

She’s said she doesn’t really get it or think it’s right to control someone’s orgasms. She also has a big praise kink and really doesn’t want to say anything that might hurt my feelings or make me feel bad, even if it’s part of the game. She’s not into humiliation at al, she doesn’t like stuff like sissy/clit talk in porn I’ve shown her because it feels like it takes away from her own femininity. Which is fine by me, I don’t want her to feel bad about the times when we play. That said, she’s been a bit more open lately. She even suggested chastity a couple during play, had me pull out and finish on a towel since her IUD is expiring soon, and she’s cool with some light control like that. I got a much better cage now that fits great and doesn’t cause any problems, and the whole control/denial thing is super hot for me. I’d love to try longer-term play where she decides when (or if) I get to cum, but I’m nervous about bringing it up without making her feel pressured or like she’s being mean. Last night she suggested it, and when I asked what spurred it she said “idk I thought you liked it?” She thinks stuff like femdom is too performative and feels silly saying things like in the femdom couples porn I’ve shown her.

I’m looking for advice on how to bring it up so it focuses on how it could make her feel powerful, sexy, and desired (with lots of praise for her being in charge), not just my kink. Also ways to gently talk about her feeling that orgasm control isn’t “right” without brushing off what she feels. And casual, low-key ways to start the conversation, maybe when we’re just chilling and not in the middle of sex.

If anyone’s been in a similar spot (partner who’s not into humiliation but might be okay with sweet/affirming dominance), what helped you get things moving?

I don’t want to push if she’s really not into it. Just hoping there’s a light version that could work for both of us, maybe starting with no hard orgasm rules, just the cage and some teasing with plenty of praise for her.

Appreciate any tips or stories you guys have! Thanks.