Tamlin and Rhys (double standards)

So it is alright of Rhys to break his promise to his mate and keep a life threatening information from her, who is supposed to handle the affairs of the whole court, because it is his first time being a mate and the male-half of a couple (which is sus because he is 500+) BUT Tamlin can not be given benefit of the doubt and is abusive when it was also his first time after utm's trauma, as a fiancé. Both were trying to do things themselves and take the burden off Feyre, but one was telling that to her while the other hid everything from her and let her live in the illusion of awareness, but the latter is a mistake while the former is abusive.

I am not supporting Tamlin's treatment of Feyre, yes he had trauma but that just ruined him for a (normal) relationship with Feyre (when he could not control himself from physically hurting her twice). But don't expect me to support Rhys when he was making that mistake being completely aware of what he was doing. He deserved a punishment hike after that.