Am I the a3shole for trying to convince my best friend to lend me money for hrt?

My other friend told me that although he understands where I came from, I was still the a3shole

So I have this best friend irl who's also transfem. We've been through a lot together. Wormed, been through some real sh1t, comforted each other when we were scared of masculinizing etc etc. i just got laid off from my job with only enough bicalutamide for 3 months. I asked her if she would lend me 50€ in 3 months if I don't have a job by then. She said no. "I'm sorry but every time I lend people money, it backfires", she explained.

I was shocked. I felt betrayed. I was the one who gave her estrogel when we were minors. She knows exactly how the body horror feels. She's called me so often, crying about her fear of detransitioning "Nona I'm so scared I injected a day too late. I'm gonna be such a hon"(no exaggeration). So I thought she'd understand but no. She has over a thousand euros in her bank acc, yet she refused to give me 50 because it makes her feel horrible.

This made me feel so betrayed but moreso confused because she usually is ride or die. One time she once agreed to marrying me because I was suffering financially and needed to pay less taxes. So I tried convincing her and telling her about the masculinization process and how its permanent. She said "just voice train can't you?". That low-key broke my heart because she used to doom so hard and still does but she has the nerve to tell me this?. I tried to convince her that her uncomfort is temporary while my masculinization would be permanent but to no avail. I talked super calmly and told her she doesn't need to rush. She called my other friend crying and told him she was distraught.

The other friend heard my side and told me "nobody owes anyone anything. Even though I understand why you reacted that way, you not respecting her boundaries makes you an a33shole. My other friend (someone I don't know) says so too"

Posted Mar 5, 2026, 7:47 PM UTC

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