be me

28

neet

broke

know this girl, childhood friend

she’s the shy and anxious type

she has a boyfriend

finance bro

6 figures

she messages me

“want to hang out?”

sure

i have no competing offers

she sends me money for the bus

start going to her place

once a week

then twice

then like three times a week

we cook food (shopping with her money)

play video games

watch movies

boyfriend usually at work

she complains

“he doesn’t take me on dates”

meanwhile she takes me to lunch or dinner in a restaurant she wants to try

pays for me

almost every week

one night we’re watching a movie

somehow we’re just casually cuddling on the couch

my brain: this is as far as I’ve gone with a girl

her:

“\[bf\] wouldn’t care if he saw this, he knows we’re just friends”

ok

whenever she has something to do, somewhere to go

I have nothing better to do

sometimes she tells me i look good, i dress well, i smell nice, how easily I could get a gf

this continues

for 3 years

he’s always very nice to me

painfully polite

i know it bothers him

but neet is getting free tendies

one time stop replying to messages

classic neet/schyzo hibernation cycle

two weeks later my phone rings

it’s her boyfriend

“hey man… could you answer her texts?”

“she’s been really upset you haven’t replied”

the boyfriend

calling the neet

to check on his girlfriend

mfw I’ve become the emotional support neet, replacement bf, permanent third wheel

\[converted my wall of text to a greentext story with ChatGPT to make it more accessible for short attention span readers like me. All true btw\]

found myself in a bee movie type situation