WIBTAH if I told my best friend I can’t afford to go on her bachelorette trip even though I already paid for part of it?

I (21F) am a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. There are 8 bridesmaids in total, including her maid of honor, her younger sister. We have been best friends since the 4th grade and have always considered each other our best friend. When she asked me to be her bridesmaid, I felt really excited and honored to support her on this special day. Her fiancé is also one of my closest friends, someone I have known since first grade.

Her wedding is in April, and the bachelorette trip is from March 26 to 30 in Nashville. Four of us bridesmaids, including me, will leave a day early since the 30th is a Monday. I have student teaching that day, and the others have full-time jobs and can’t take the extra time off.

Here’s where it gets tricky financially.

I’m a college student studying education, and I just started student teaching. We do this for a month each semester. As a result, I'm in the classroom from 8 to 2, four days a week and can’t work on those days. The only time I can work is Fridays. I’m a substitute teacher, so I only work if there are jobs available. Sometimes, there aren’t any. When I do work, I earn $100 for the entire day, which runs from 7 to 3.

With my classes, student teaching, and studying for exams, I hardly have time to earn extra money. I live alone in an apartment an hour away from my hometown, and my mom sends me $50 a week for groceries and gas. Money is already very tight.

Despite this, I have already spent quite a bit for the wedding. I paid $260 for the bachelorette trip, bought my bridesmaid dress for $100, and still need to get it altered later this week. I also bought a lingerie set and a pair of underwear that each bridesmaid is expected to give the bride on the trip. Recently, we had her bridal shower, and I couldn’t afford to buy anything off her registry because I simply didn’t have the money.

The bachelorette trip is in Downtown Nashville, which many people know can get very expensive. It takes three hours to drive there from our hometown. While we are there, we will also need to pay for eating out, drinks, enough snacks for the group (from each bridesmaid), and a shopping day that the bride wants to have.

Additionally, we must wear themed outfits throughout the trip based on our assigned bridesmaid colors. Mine is purple, and I don’t own any purple clothes at all. Some of the themes are “Bling Before the Ring,” “Her Last Rodeo,” “Pretty in Pink,” and “Flirty in Floral.” I have asked everyone I know if they have purple clothes to borrow that might fit these themes, but no one has anything.

So, on top of everything else, I would need to buy multiple outfits just to be able to participate.

Another thing is that the week before the trip, I’ll be taking my Foundations of Reading Praxis exam. This is a state-required exam I need to teach, and it costs $150.

I also have a yearly family beach trip from March 22 to 27, which my family has taken every year since I was a child. I’m already planning to leave that trip early so I can make it to the bachelorette trip. However, even though I am leaving early, I’ll still end up spending money during that time, leaving me even shorter on cash.

One night while my friend and I were catching up on the phone, she mentioned that she tried to consider the costs for the bridesmaids who are still in college and can’t work full-time. There are at least three or four of us in that situation. I have told her multiple times in the past year about my struggles to make money and cover basic needs, so she knows about my financial situation. I held back my feelings and bit my tongue because honestly, this whole process has not felt considerate of costs at all. Every part of the wedding events has been paid for out of pocket by us. I want to make it clear that had I known how much money I’d have to spend, I would have told her I want to support her but can't afford it right now. This is my first time being a bridesmaid, and I have attended only two weddings in my life as a guest.

At this point, I genuinely don’t think I will have the money to join the trip or even enjoy it, even though I’ve already paid $260 and bought other things.

I love my friend so much and am incredibly happy for her. I still want to stand by her side on her wedding day and support her however I can. I don’t want to back out of being a bridesmaid, I just don’t know if I can make this trip work financially.

I’m not even asking for my money back for the trip. I just feel overwhelmed trying to keep up with everything.

I haven’t told her yet because I’m worried about hurting her feelings, and I don’t want to add stress to her wedding planning.

So Reddit, WIBTAH if I tell my best friend I can’t afford to go on the bachelorette trip?