having to pause therapy because of money and I feel like I'm abandoning myself

Fourteen months with my therapist. Real progress. Trust I've never had with anyone else. Work that's genuinely changing my life.

And now I have to stop because the credit card balance got too high.

I've been putting sessions on the card for months, telling myself I'd figure it out. I didn't figure it out. Now I'm carrying debt that's adding its own anxiety on top of everything else.

She was understanding when I told her. Gave me resources, said to come back when I could. But I know how this goes. I've "paused" before. Pausing becomes months becomes forgetting becomes starting completely over.

The progress feels fragile. Like it needs maintenance I can no longer afford. I'm scared of sliding back. I'm scared of losing what we built.

There's also this shame I can't shake. Everyone talks about investing in yourself, prioritizing mental health. I couldn't sustain the investment. Does that mean I failed?

Has anyone navigated this? Keeping momentum when you can't afford to keep going?