Reading the book > Almost feeling it

I'm 18 pages into the 156 pages of *THE EMPTY CORE An Object Relations Approach to Psychotherapy of the Schizoid Personality JEFFREY SEINFELD, PH.D.*

Discovering the PD that explains me, reading about it and finding you folks has been a wild ride and done wonders so far but that book - the first 18 pages (minus those without text even) of that book - have made me feel seen AND exposed in front of myself like never before. 😱

I feel an inkling of pain. Maybe exhaustion. A bit of some remnant anger, I think. But primarily pain.

And I wish I could, idk, cry and grieve or something but I can't. The emotion is too deep down, too shallow up here and too engraved in my muscle tonus etc to go anywhere or be reachable for forward transitioning.

I have no idea what to make of this. I'm. both very interested and excited for the rest of the *and* a tad bit afraid. Thank god I have a healthy schizoid void in me, I'll bounce back 😉