trauma brained relapsing maso slut

i said i i cannot be starting a rub session rn but ehy do i want to so bad 😵‍💫 i havent even gotten any inboxes that genuinely made me feel ashamed of the whore ive become yet today! or how many hits i need to ruin my stupid fuckhole brain! what a shame.

god i wish there were more incredibly kind good pervy ppl who when around me hated me for my extrmely promiscuous nature despite my virginity snd inexperience but them and their friends immediately find me a good target. i wanna be a dummy little stoopid easy perv target and get groped and messed all up in the head for them!!!

they’d feed me drugs, smoke me out with weed all night.. and slowly inch my clothes off until they were convinced i didnt notice. groping me, i try to kick him. no avail and im getting stuffed with fingers in my pussy.

god i wanna be a group of scary mean pervs rapehole. i want them to curse me for corrupting them and telling me punishment with rape rape and more violent rape was the only thing that could fix a disgusting whore like me. or make me into exactly what im supposed to be for those evil bad bad bad people n men and women and all in between using up my body traumatizing me more.

using me without my knowledge and rubbing balls on my stupid face joking about video game teabagging while they all looked st me strange… in a room full of men…. or the man who pushed me into the shed at a pool party and groped me over my pool cover up dress the same one i almost got SA’ED in by my bully (this was after that…) but i remember him trying to kiss me and also dreaming about it and how his hands felt on me even though i knew he was too old for me im really not into that but god it just felt good to be desired by a man and now being all fucked up from how men dont desire me anymore >.<

i loved being an easy fuckhole nghh god but no one wanted to even try :( i remember dreaming the guy i had a crush on i would just dream about him pushing me down while practicing alone and stuff me full of his dick god ive always been so fucked up i hate it but love it. im disgusting and vile and deplorable.

also im laying in bed and now cant stop rubbing and thinking about my abusive ex since im currently depriving myself of sleep just like he did to me soo thsts the kinda mood im in lmao. im so disgusting i think :(