This is weird, I don’t make post like this or ever browse this community. As the title states, I’m not a practicing Catholic. I was baptized and received my first communion but never seriously bought into the church. I’ve struggled with organized religion as an institution, specifically the treatment of the LGBTQ Community. While I haven’t ever considered myself a Christian, I do identify as a spiritual person and believe there is something next and a higher power. 

That said, my mother recently passed away in December from brain cancer. My Grandmother also died the same week. My father passed away when I was 18, so I’m now an orphan at 30. 

Earlier this week, I was informed that my brother and I were disinherited from our Grandmother, who was a devout Catholic. The way it was done makes it feel like it was done because my father committed suicide, which in Catholicism is a XXX as I understand it. This seems to be how my grandmother dealt with his suicide, it was easier for her to simply forget her son and his children. 

Needless to say, I’ve been feeling a way and have been having an incredibly emotional week. Last night I was laying in bed, recalling some childhood trauma and wishing my mother was here. The room was dark. Something was keeping me up, and I felt some sort of a presence in the room. 

I watched with my own eyes as a female figure materialized in front of my bed. It did not feel like my mother. This woman was around 5’ 2” - 5’ 6” and very clearly had a shroud/shawl. She was built like a belly dancer. She did not appear in human flesh like us, she appeared to be spectral, as if she was made of stars instead of flesh, and she had a blue glow. 

Once I realized this figure, I looked away and looked back - still there. I softly spoke (as to not wake my wife) “Hello there, who are you? Can we have a conversation?” The figure then vanished into thin air. The entire event lasted 30 seconds. 

When I woke up this morning, I described this experience to a professional colleague and good personal friend. He was immediately shocked and immediately told me that I had described the Virgin Mary. He also divulged that he has actually been praying for me to find some peace. After googling images of her, there seem to be some similarities. 

I used Chat GPT to create an image that is what I would say 98% accurate to what I saw. 

I know what it is like to hallucinate people on drugs, this was not that. I also know what it’s like to see shadows move in the dark when your eyes/brain get confused - this was not that. I felt a presence and saw what I saw.

My questions:

1. Has anyone here ever had a similar experience seeing such a thing while awake with your own eyes?

2. Does this look and sound like an apparition of the Virgin Mary?

3. What does one do to have this happen, why did she appear? Why me, why now?

4. Do I have any cause for concern?

5. What should I do now?

Thank you in advance for your assistance as I continue to process this experience. 




Please help: I’m not a practicing Catholic but I think I may have had an apparition last night.