My parents are separated since 2011 because they say it’s easier than divorcing for financial reasons since my father is from a different country than my mother and my mother buys a bunch of things with his money in the US under the guise of it being “for the family”. She was a very physically and mentally abusive woman growing up even into adulthood and my dad would never stop her and would just avoid the problem. She bought a house in a different state than me with my dads money and lives in it with her boyfriend (friend is what she calls him to my dad) she bought an RV with my dads money, a boat, a brand new jeep truck, remodeled her basement into a bar all with my dads money. This is a state NONE of us would ever visit so its not “for the family” it’s for her. My dad would rather throw money at situations rather than deal with them.  


We have a family home here in the same state as me, that I have been taking care of because I care about it 2017-2025. It went through multiple hurricanes and I was the only one to clean it up and restore it Every time. Until late 2025 when my mom thought my dad was cutting her off and she lost her mind and basically told me she doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks she’s going to sell the house and keep the money for herself. She said she didn't care about it being the family home because its not, its only under her name so its hers and she can do whatever she wants with it. So i stopped helping and stopped engaging with her. 

I live in an apartment my dad bought with HIS money for his 4 kids to use as we grew up to work, go to college, and save money in so we can build to buying our own but being as it’s in the US, she put it only in HER name and my dad wasn't separated from her when they did this so he thought nothing of it. Now that they’re separated and I moved into it after my siblings in 2018, it has always felt like this looming cloud that if she every felt wronged she could pull the rug out from under me. So Ive had to kiss the queens ass to avoid issue for years and every time I would upset her, I was taunted by the risk of being homeless.  

i just recently left my job as a teacher, and have like 20 items to sell. I wanted to do a garage sale at our family house and recently my mother has come down to vacation for a month to the family house. I asked my mother can I do it now while you're visiting or would you prefer I wait until you’re gone? She said “sure just dont leave any of your crap here” i said ”I wouldn’t, the goal is to get rid of it” then she responds with “Actually I dont want strangers here since Im moving into the house at some point this year” I was confused because theyre not going INSIDE the house its literally in the drive way of a very public street? And also all of 2025 she has been giving multiple strangers the code to enter and leave this house with no structure or supervision all for remodeling that she wanted done that she didn’t come to check on whenever they felt like entering they did. she told me “it doesn’t matter what you feel about it, im not doing THIS with you, its MY house” i said “its also dads house“ and she blocked me and called my dad to complain about it to which my dad called me to tell me “ehhh you know how she is, just let her be” so I let my father know how I feel.. 

  
i know I should just leave this apartment that Ive been very fortunate to stay in so I no longer have the weight of being kicked out by an angry woman over me. I hate that my parents never taught me/forced me to learn the skills to be independent enough as a young kid/ didnt give me any life skills when I was younger so I could be independent/ and now Im in a terrible situation where I have to rely for them for housing and they make me feel like shit about it. I look up to the hardworking teenager or 20 year old who never had help from anyone, learning how to save and have a work ethic, no amount of money or college could pay for that. i hate who Ive become. (This is nothing compared to what most go through but I can only describe my situation) 

Mother is a terror