Advice for going no contact

I’m 24 and considering telling my dad I don’t want to hear from him anymore, but I’m not sure how, or even whether I should.

Some context on the nature of his alcoholism (trigger warning for descriptions of alcoholics doing alcoholic things): he was never physically violent but would drink during the day when he was off work. We always had money worries because either his company was threatening to fire him or he did actually get laid off a couple of times. He was intensely self pitying, and would make up arguments with me and my younger siblings where he’d cry and insist he’s a terrible father and would try force us to tell him to list 5 things we hate about him, etc.

I can’t count the number of birthdays/ christmases/ holidays that were ruined by him being drunk in public, hurting himself by falling over drunk, or just straight up going missing for days on end and we’d have to report him to the police.

It wasn’t like this all the time though, and he’d have months of no drinking and I’d tentatively hope for a healthy relationship with him one day, only to come home from school to him slumped asleep at the dinner table with vomit down his front.

My mum finally got him to move out of the house when I was about 16, but childhood home life was always about tiptoeing around him and not triggering him in any way, including never mentioning his alcoholism.

Anyway, he declined pretty badly around 3-4 years ago when he lost his job and didn’t get another one, depleted all his savings, and his liver finally gave out (so he always has fluid buildup, restricting his mobility and causing constant pain).

His only contact with me is through text as he doesn’t know my current address and I stopped picking up his calls a long time ago. He usually just sends me good morning or goodnight texts or “hope you’re well” etc but sometimes will update me on his health (which is never good news), or ask where I am and what I do for work (the idea of telling him makes my stomach churn). I’ve not replied to his texts at all for about a year now, but I just want him to stop contacting me. Up until a few years ago I really hoped we’d be able to have a functional relationship, even if that just involved getting a coffee every once in a blue moon, but he’s showed me time and time again that’s not possible, and I’ve just become so jaded from getting my hopes up believing all his “I’m sober fr fr fr this time” crap.

I’m hesitant about actually telling him that I want to cut him off, partly because I know he’ll pull the self-pity card and try to guilt trip me out of doing so, and partly because I’m so used to avoiding rocking the boat in any way, intentionally doing something I know will upset him feels so wrong, and I don’t want to be the last straw for him going into another spiral.

There’s also this voice in the back of my head telling me that he never really did anything that awful or cruel, he’s just a deeply self pitying and weak person. He never physically hurt me - the worst he’d do was shake me by the shoulders. I know someone always has it worse, and that doesn’t invalidate my own experience, but that also doesn’t help the doubt I feel.

So, I’m looking to know how this went for other people. I know that no one can tell me what to say or do - that’s not what I want, I’d just like to hear about other people’s experiences cutting contact with an alcoholic parent- what did you say, and how did it go? I spoke about this at length with my mum who suggested if I want to do the “right” thing I could message him to officially break contact and give my reasons seeing as I’m already not replying to his texts, but I just don’t know whether to even have the conversation.