I need to commit

I just wanna die. I am sick of life, I’m sick of always being in mental pain. Not having anyone I can trust because all they do is send me back to a psych ward. I was supposed to have a meeting with my therapist yesterday but she was sick. I have to just die. I have two options I would take that would do it quick but painful. I just can’t keep going like this, I can’t keep pretending like everything is okay. I hate my life, I hate this pain that I’m in.